I think that 6 is the result of 5. Which is the result of your "bonus bugaboo". (Personally, I would do away with public money going to support high school and college sports altogether. Spend our taxes on education. If they want to play sports, they can find creative ways to raise money for it or just do away with it entirely and use their spare time to... I don't know... maybe study! I know... heresy!)
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My condolences on 3. Have you tried duct tape?