HSU IT Department

I just got the best comment ever on my Modern Major Death Eater (parody of Modern Major General) and I had to share:

"I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY I LOVE THIS IT IS PERFECTION THIS IS WHY THE INTERNET EXISTS"

lol

This is how I feel when I read a really good piece of fanfic, so I'm especially tickled :)

sshg_exchange has posted the reveal -- and with 180 items, it is a freakin' HUGE reveal! The quality of writing and art that comes out of SSHG never ceases to amaze me.

I have squee'd in no uncertain terms about the gifts I received, but now I know who my bestower of loveliness is and I'm thrilled to be able to properly thank sixpence_jones for my two phenomenal gifts, For Love and Loss (art) and All Shadows Pass Away (fic). I treasure both of them. ♥ ♥ ♥ to you, my dear!!

And on the flip side, I can now claim authorship of "Bide, Lady, Bide," a combination of the folk song "The Twa Magicians" and a very manipulative Lucius who very nearly gets caught in his own net, which I wrote for owlbait. So many people were kind enough to leave praise and comments; I am both thrilled and humbled.

Title: Bide, Lady, Bide (on LJ) (on AO3)
Recipient: owlbait
Rating: Suggestive
Warnings: None
Genre: Romance
Summary: Lucius has a cunning plan. What will he do when it backfires?
Word Count: 8,521
Original Prompt: (Possible spoilers) Of the three prompts given, I've combined #2 and #3: (2) "Something inspired by "The Twa Magicians" - Childe Ballad verses here and Steeleye Span's spiffy version here. (3) "The Marriage Law Oopsie: With the war over, Wizarding Britain is worried about the rise in Squibs. In typical Slytherin fashion, Lucius connives to get his friend the girl of his dreams. He moves behind the scenes to get a Marriage Law passed requiring all Muggle-born witches to marry Purebloods. Lucius, recently widowed/divorced, petitions for Hermione. He engineers out all other escape routes in order to send her fleeing to Severus's offer. Finally, with time getting down to the wire for Hermione to accept another proposal or have to marry him, Lucius gets fed up and tells Snape to offer for Hermione, already. It seems our Sev has kept some things to himself. "What do you *mean* you aren't a pureblood?"

Lucius has deerhounds, or maybe wolfhounds; we all know that, right?



And he's French -- he's got that certain je ne sai quoi, right? So I need a good name for a big French dog or two. And yes, I know, neither deerhounds nor wolfhounds are French, they're Scottish or Irish or something, but don't pester me with details. I looked at this list but it's giving me issues. The names that je comprends are dumb (Floffy? Floppi? Lucius would DIE of mortification) and I refuse to use a person's name (pas de Belle, pas de Sebastian) and I don't want to use a name je ne comprends pas (Fripouille? Guimauve? WTF?).

So somebody who knows French, or is French, or has French friends, help me out here: if you were French (or proud of your French heritage) and had a big deerhound (or wolfhound) or two, what would you call them?

My lm_hgficxchange gift fic posted, and it's absolutely wonderful! It's from the pen of the talented rivertempest and she has outdone herself. The story has all my favorite things: clever plot, witty/snarky banter, a little UST, and Lucius in some truly monumentally funny situations. I laughed until I cried at the herbal tea and the men's wear :D

Go forth now and read Equal Opportunity -- you won't be sorry :)

Well, isn't that a nice pressie?




And here it is, for your edification and jollification:

--+--+--+--

Title: The Lighter Side of Death Eating, or, Is That A Krampus in Your Pocket Or Are You Just Glad to See Me?
Word Count: 466
Rating: PG
Summary: The spirit of Death Eaters, present
Warnings: Scary teeth?
Author's notes: Krampus (interestingly, a week ago when I wrote this piece, the article looked like this, which is a MUCH scarier picture!!)


The drawing room was crowded and noisy, the women's sparkling jewels and bright velvet robes contrasting with the black rags and the masks worn by the men: horned, goatlike, with sharp hungry teeth. Over the animated conversation and the pounding of the drums, Lucius waved a languid arm at the newest arrival. "Antonin!" he called. "Welcome!"

Dolohov made his way towards his host and accepted the proffered glass of Lagavulin, noting the heavy crystal appreciatively. "You do live well, don't you, Lucius? Quite the lord of the manor."

Lucius cocked a pale eyebrow. "The perquisites of breeding," he said. "When your family has been around as long, and has such exquisite good taste, as the Malfoys, one tends to acquire a certain patina of --"

"Заткнись, мудак," said Dolohov with a snort.

"Tsk, tsk. Such language." Lucius took a sip of the amber liquid, rolling it appreciatively in his mouth. "Vulgarity is the last refuge of the linguistically incompetent, Dolohov. Or don't they worry about such trivialities as literacy at Durmstrang?"

Dolohov opened his mouth to reply but just then the drums reached a crescendo and thundered to a halt, the sudden stillness causing the crowd to fall silent expectantly.

"Ah. That's my cue. Do excuse me." Lucius stepped forward, beckoning to a slender young man in a particularly vicious mask and a tall, aristocratic blonde witch in deep green robes.

The three of them moved to stand in front of the fireplace, facing their assembled guests. Behind them, above the carved stone mantel, hung a large oil painting of a muscular man, naked, with the head of a goat. His horns swept back in a long graceful curve, black hair hung curling to his shoulders, and his mouth was open in a vicious grin, displaying needle-sharp teeth. Branches of walnut and yew were fastened above and below, with holly berries scattered like drops of blood, as red as the eyes of the creature in the portrait.

"My wife, my son and I bid you welcome to this Krampus Nacht feast," Lucius said into the expectant hush. "Although we have suffered setbacks, tonight is a time to dwell on the successes the new year will bring. I bid you all, charge your glasses for a toast to the spirit of this eve." He turned and gestured to the portrait. "As he takes away the wicked children to meet their deserved fate, so shall we sweep away the blood traitors and the unworthy among us to create a better world." A murmur of approval ran through the crowd, and all around the room, hands raised crystal glasses of fine wine and whiskey.

Lucius raised his glass, Draco and Narcissa following suit. "To Krampus!"

The echo came crashing back: "To Krampus!" And the drums began again.

Here's the third, and longest, of my contributions to the hp_uk_meetup -- a nod to H.P. Lovecraft. Enjoy!

( Shadow Over Wiltshire )

My other two contributions are here and here.

Well, another hp_uk_meetup has come and gone, and I have permission from the hard-ass Head Nurse, who apparently managed the thing to perfection, to now post the little drabbles I wrote for it. Since one of the them is longish I'll put them in separate posts. Hugs to my recipients chthonya, croatoan6000, and daiseechain -- hope you enjoyed them!!

Herewith, drabble the first!

(Author's note: Full credit goes to my spouse for this one. He came up with the truly awful pun and I just ran with it.)

( Lucius and the Long Arm of the DMV )

My two other bits of silliness are here and here.

Well, now that the hp_uk_meetup is over, I'm allowed to post the flash fic -- aka drabbles -- and also the slightly longer pieces (resulting from my inability to control my wayward Muse) that I contributed for their edification, jollification, and delectation. Herewith, my G and PG offerings; I have a couple of R-rated ones but will save those for tomorrow. And can I just say, I had huge amounts of fun with this? Thanks nursedarry for inviting me to play!!


( Irresistible (RL gen, G) )


( Social Grooming (RL/SB, PG) )


( Whiter shade of pale (HG/LM, PG) )


( Lunacy (LL gen, G) )