Why horses should avoid drugs, and why birth control is bad

[delphipsmith]

Two book recs for today. I don't recommend you actually read them, necessarily, just...well, take a look :)

Latawnya the Naughty Horse Learns to Say No to Drugs

BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES AND ALSO ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!

Those exclamation points aren't mine, ladies and gentlemen -- they're actually part of the title.

Read the reviews, they are hilarious. And the "People who viewed this also viewed..."

Comments

[pitry.livejournal.com]

OMG OMG OMG.
Every house should have these books. Esp. houses with children. It's the best way to teach kids what literature is - just point and say "NOT THAT!!!!!" :D :D :D

Edit: Holy shit, that thing costs $150?! Are the pages also made of gold?

[delphipsmith]

"Not that" is right. I guess with vanity presses you get to pick your cover price, and Ms Strong-Anderson clearly believes HER MESAGE IS WORTH A HOLE >LOT BECAUSE >GOD JEUS AMEN

I kind of wonder if the angle brackets are because she was emailing bits of it to her beta reader and then she just copy-pasted the reply, complete with brackets lol

You can get the Kindle version a lot cheaper, but this reviewer says it killed his Kindle XD

[pitry.livejournal.com]

Ha, you know, I didn't think about it but you're probably right about the brackets.... this is sooooo bizarre. And silly. And WHAT.

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

LaTawnya has been available on the internet for *years*, and is always a good read. If by "good" you mean "I need reminding what makes a really bad story".

The other ... oh, my.

[mundungus42.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD THERE ARE ILLUSTRATIONS OF HORSES SMOKING UP. *dies laughing* Thank you for giving me the full picture of this unique work of literature.

[madeleone]

OMG! Where do you find this stuff! LOL! The reviews were hilarious.

[delphipsmith]

It came up in a conversation on GoodReads, along with How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?. Also a real gem XD

[anemonen.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow, that second one frightened me a little... Reading the reviews helped, thoughXD Over 600 pages in ALL CAPS! Where do these people come from?

[delphipsmith]

The mind boggles, does it not? But clearly the author has great confidence in her work, to be asking $150!!

[shiv5468.livejournal.com]

Oh dear god.

Sorry

OH DEAR GOD

[delphipsmith]

AMEN!

[malada.livejournal.com]

You know there's a "Latawnya The Naughty Horse Two" - right?

Please file under 'you've got to be kidding me'

-m

[delphipsmith]

I did. Yes I did. But I was afraid adding that might exceed this post's limit of insanity lol

[mundungus42.livejournal.com]

I think Feisty Donut has my favorite review of BIRTH CONTROL...

This is one of the better books I've read all in caps on the subject.

Understated. Factual. Hilarious.

And I don't often read Amazon's recommendations, but "The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification" sounds like PURE GOLD.

I have no idea how you found these, but my life has been enriched by knowing that these books exist. Also, you are a class A certifiable nut. *smooches you silly* Takes one to know one, after all.

[delphipsmith]

Heeeee. I know, aren't the reviews just sidesplitting?? My favorite was this one: "Confused: I'm sorry, I thought this was a book about birth control and Jesus, but it appears to be written in FORTRAN." Also this "I AM SURE THAT THE TEN COMMANDMENTS WOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS TOO, IF ONLY ANCIENT HEBREW HAD THEM. WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT FOR GOD ON MT. SINAI" ::giggles like mad::

Where I found these: they came up in a conversation on GoodReads, along with How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?. Also a real gem XD